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A Shard

October 10, 2016

A shard 50 60 70 years pass resolutely with expectant health conviction focus resolve fulfilling purpose for some
most others sputter emerge precariously and wince at the sense of longing for what those fortunate enough to have a place a sense that their lives are safe
are bound to fulfill an unseen vow of success where there is patience acceptance expectant that dreams are real
will be achieved will be honored where there are commitments to being valued
for many there is a sense of  fragile strident waiting
to rise above the chill night air that suffocates stymies creative impulses
to find a
place to dwell in safe secure unfettered rhythm of undying light
there are those who suffer from the indignity of almost always being out alone
on a divide between reason and mental turpitude
there is a feeling of being in a place that is forbidden for any of us to go
where it is usual to lose your way your mind your facility to understand what to do where to go who to trust
these dichotomies leave me reeling from the deafening noise the din the dirt and dust that settles
within leaving you hoarse and gasping for air for any place that is safe or that feels private protected sustaining
there is usually nowhere to turn and no one to hold and comfort me
when at last I give in and simply lie down wherever I happen to be
 close my eyes forget
even when there are haunting memories that creep in
even when I am alone and no one in the way to bother me anon
Question – how long is enough to cherish life
to cling to expectation to dwell here when you sense inside
 I’m not welcome
a keepsake discarded 
a shard shaved off
to lose dead weight or that does not fit?
I am careful to share only what is needed  
letting others be
who dare to love me
Randle Loeb
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