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Ruminating Heart Throbs from Utter Jibes

April 25, 2017

Ruminating Heart Throbs From Utter JibesImage may contain: 1 person

LOVE BY Grace  Grace  Grace  Grace Grace  Grace Grace Grace Grace  Grace  Grace  Grace Grace Grace Grace  








































1 Corinthians 13:4-13  English Standard Version (ESV)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.


1 Corinthians 13 King James Version (KJV)

13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profiteth me nothing.

4 LOVE  suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 LOVE never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

13 And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is  LOVE.

Love is grace 

American King James Version


1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 LOVE suffers long, and is kind; charity envies not; charity brags not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; 6  Rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 LOVE never fails: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a woman, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.13 And now stays faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.



What is more comforting than friends, more attentive than a lover,
more healing than good health, more awe-inspiring than the most
beautiful music, more precious than diamonds, more brilliant than
sunlight and more joyful than happiness? For many people, it is grace.
But what exactly is grace? It is easy to recognize, but difficult to
define. The word grace has many meanings, including beauty, elegance,
charm, mercy, flow, harmony, and divine love.

Today, the simple definition that pleases me the most is: the
experience of awe, gratitude and unconditional love when you are in
harmony with yourself, with others and with the creative power that
creates the cosmos. It is the harmonious integration of your body,
mind and spirit with the way of nature. Grace is the spiritual freedom
that arises when you realize that life is a gift. From this awareness
you seek to live in harmony with the power that creates the cosmos.
From this friendship arises a profound feeling of happiness as well as
spiritual, emotional and mental freedom. For years, I have sought to
find a simple, elegant definition for grace. (Below, you can see a
list of various definitions that have occurred to me throughout the

Like a graceful figure skater, a person living in grace aligns body,
mind and spirit with the world. A figure skater knows her body’s
strengths and limitations. She knows how to coax her muscles into
strength, flexibility and balance. She is intimately familiar with the
forces of nature: with gravity, with centrifugal motion, the texture
of the ice, the sharpness of her blades, the support of her boots and
each nuance of the music. Intimately familiar with her body and the
outside world, she knows precisely how to dance on ice with effortless
ease and grace.

Like the skater, the more aware we become of the world and ourselves,
the better we can flow with grace.

The A, B C’s of Grace
Looking more analytically, grace may be seen as a process involving
three steps. Like breathing, which is a process of inhalation,
exchanging gases and exhalation, grace is a process of Awakening,
experiencing Bliss and Creating with Compassion. I use the letters A,
B, C as a mnemonic to remind me of these three integrated, yet
distinct components. The first is an Awakening to Ultimate Reality.
(Some choose to call Nature, some prefer to call it God, and others
have different names.) It is the realization that the universe
contains incalculable blessings that suport you with abundant life and
joy. The second part of grace is the blissful feeling or experience
that arises from this awareness. This experience of grace feels like
unconditional love, bliss, gratitude, blessings, love, profound
acceptance, relaxation, joy, serenity, inspiration. The third aspect
of grace is Compassionate Creativity. The blissful feeling of grace
then energizes and inspires one to share this joy through compassion
to others. Compassionate Creativity spontaneously overflows from an
abundance of awareness and bliss. This compassionate creativity may
look like a smile, an encouraging word, a meal for the poor, the
creation of inspirational art, the creation of a helpful new
technology, or any action or way of being that serves others. When a
person is is a state of grace, they automatically channel Divine Love.
Grace shares the abundant overflow of love. Service is the natural
expression of grace and its feelings of kindness, love, compassion,
radiance of joy, serenity. Grace only gives from a sense of abundance.
Therefore, when one is in the state of grace, service never feels
obligatory or has any trace of resentment.

“What is grace? I know until you ask me; when you ask me, I do not know.”
~ Saint Augustine

Many people have experienced “grace moments.” Intuitively, they know
what grace is, but trying to express this idea is challenging.
Following are more ideas about grace, listed alphabetically.

Grace is to Align with the Divine – When a person lives in alignment
with reality rather than struggles with illusions they are living in a
state of grace. “Align with the Divine” may also be expressed as
“Harmonizing with the Whole,” “Go with the Flow,” “Synergize with
Source.” As Henry Miller noted, “The world is not to be put in order;
the world is in order. It is for us to put ourselves in unison with
this order.” When we are in unison with this order, we feel a sense of

Grace is Awakening – Grace is awakening to the natural order of the
universe. This awakening allows you to understand, appreciate, and
accept reality rather than clinging to illusions. Awakening to reality
creates cognitive harmony, in which everything makes sense, as opposed
to cognitive dissonance, in which conflicting world views collide.
Grace is a prolonged “ah-ha” moment. Grace is awakening to the paradox
that we can never be fully aware of reality as it is, only as we, with
our limited perceptions, can see it. This awakening may initially be
perceived with terror, because at first, greater awareness can be
disorienting, just as walking into the light can be as blinding as
walking into the darkness. Yet expanded awareness inevitably leads to
intense gratitude and actions motivated by compassion.

Grace is Authenticity – “If you bring forth what is within you, what
you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is
within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” ~ Jesus
according to the gospel of Thomas. Grace is when you authentically
acknowledge your feelings and thoughts. Grace welcomes all feelings
and, paradoxically, liberates you from the impulse to act on feelings
that serve anything less that the highest good.

Grace is Balance – When you are in balance, you are in grace. This
balance is dynamic equilibrium rather than a steady state. Often, this
balance seems a paradox: joy and sorrow, fear and love, give and take,
dark and light, yin and yang. Yet as Heraclitus noted, opposites are
necessary for the balance of existence: “All things come into being by
conflict of opposites.”

Grace is Original Blessing – To be alive is the original blessing.
Everyone alive today is the survivor of billions of years of
evolution. Simply being aware that we are victors can lead to
gratitude and the experience of grace.

Grace is Bliss – Grace is a state of being that feels like serene
happiness, the ecstasy of salvation, and spiritual joy. Being in grace
feels like bliss.

Grace is Born Again – For many, the experience of grace feels like one
is born again. One is born again when fear, anger and cynicism die and
hope, faith, and charity are born. To be born again is to be born into
the realization that the power that creates the universe (Nature, God)
supports you and that if you align with these forces, you can
co-create a life of abundance and joy.

Grace is Clarity – Grace is the ability to discern priorities from the
hordes of distractions that clamor for your your attention. Grace is a
process of enlightenment.

Grace is Connection – Grace is the realization that you are connected
(immersed) in perfect relationship with the ultimate source of
existence. In unity with the ultimate source, you are able to let love
flow through you, allowing for deeper intimacy with others. Grace
allows you to see your connections to those beyond apparent next of
kin so that even as you see their flaws, you also see their divinity.
Grace is the realization that all creatures share the same DNA and
that all life is not only connected, but also interdependent.

Grace is Courage – You are in a state of grace when, during those
moments when you can see no way out of a predicament, you know that
love will prevail. Even though you may feel afraid, there is so much
love in your heart that you know you will not give up. Grace is the
warmth in your heart that gives you courage.

Grace is Divine Love – Grace is unconditional love. Grace is the
realization that the powers that create the universe support you.
Grace is the experience of divine love that inevitably leads to
kindness, just as inevitably as water flows downstream.

Grace is Realization of Divine Way – At this moment, 100 trillion of
your cells work in unison to keep your blood flowing, providing you
with oxygen and nutrients to feed your muscles and your brain so that
you may sing, dance and love. Thousands of life-sustaining chemical
reactions within each cell happen billions of times each second to
support your life. A complex, interrelated ecosystem ensures that
oxygen is recycled, that you have food and water. A complex society
gives you love, support and access to global communication networks.
Although way too much to comprehend, all these events are essential
for life. The Divine Direction is sometimes called “Good Orderly
Direction,” known by some as the acronym “GOD.” This divine direction
is also known as “The Way” or “The Tao.”

Grace is Effortlessness – Like falling in love, grace is effortless.
Just as floating down a stream is surrendering effortlessly to
gravity, grace is surrendering effortlessly to living in harmony with

Grace Leads to Faith – Faith is certainty of grace despite uncertainty
of circumstance. Grace is courage that knows that doubt is the doorway
to discovering this faith. When you have developed the ability to
thrive with grace under challenging times, you will develop faith that
you can attain grace at any time. With grace, you may be uncertain
about the outcome of an situation, but you are certain that your
thoughts, feelings and actions will be in harmony.

Grace is Flexibility – “Life puts us into endless awkward positions.
Fully embraced, these become emblematic postures of Dignity and
Grace.” ~ Sky

Grace is Flow – Grace is not a thing, but rather a process. It’s not
something you can hold, but rather something you flow with. When you
are living your purpose and flowing in the here and now you are in
grace. Grace does not cling to then or there. Grace is a journey with
a direction, not a destination. As the ancient Tao Te Ching and modern
physics tell us, reality is more like the flow of water than it is a
collection of things. Grace is going with this flow.

Grace Flows from Source – The pattern of life, the laws of the
universe, the Way, the Truth is the nature of all being. Grace happens
when you follow the way (the Tao) with integrity (Te).

Grace Flows Toward Divine – The universe progresses in a direction
toward greater complexity, cooperation and consciousness. This
realization is shared my mystics and atheists such as Richard Dawkins
who noted that human culture shows evidence of “progress of the moral
zeitgeist.” Understanding this direction of evolution, we realize that
when we “go with this flow” life is much simpler. Grace, then, is like
flowing effortlessly down a stream. In contrast to fear, which is like
clinging to rocks, grace is letting go. “Let go and let Love” is the
phrase many people use. When you “align with the divine” you allow
yourself to be carried in the current of divine love, to flow toward

Grace is Freedom – Grace is spiritual freedom. It is liberation from
false ideas, from the tyranny of ignorance and from the oppression of
emotional turmoil. Grace is freedom to question everything and the
freedom to know that not all questions have answers. “Emancipate
yourself from mental slavery,” sings Bob Marley. Everyone can be free,
few choose to be. Grace is freedom in the awareness between feeling
and action. Lacking this awareness, there is only slavery to
unconscious reaction. Grace is the liberation of the spirit from the
tyranny of biological genes and of societal memes.

Grace is Delight in Uncertainty – “In the wisdom of uncertainty lies
the freedom from our past, from the known, from the prison of past
conditioning. Uncertainty is the fertile ground of creativity and
freedom.” – Deepak Chopra

Grace is Friendship – Grace is friendship to self, to others and to
the cosmos. Of all the paths to grace, perhaps no other is as
consistently effective as the path of friendship. A friend gives you a
glimpse the creative and loving spirit of the universe. A friend
reminds you that love is the essential nature of being. Yet to have a
friend, you must be a friend. And the truest friends are true to

Grace is Gratitude – The word grace comes from the Latin root,
“gratia,” which means pleasing and is also the root of the word
“gratitude.” At its heart, grace is gratitude for all that is.
Gratitude naturally results when you become aware of the events,
processes, and coincidences that must happen to support your life. It
is the realization that trillions of cells in your body all coordinate
to give you life. Grace is gratitude for our blessings, despite our
circumstances. Grace is gratitude for the gift of a blade of grass,
the joy of a child, and the existence of the universe.

Grace is Gentleness – Grace feels like gentleness toward self, others
and the world. Grace is the opposite of harsh. “In grace, I feel truly
At One with whatever it is that I’m feeling gentleness with.” ~ Sky

Grace is Beyond Happiness – Happiness is a state of mind that may be
oblivious to problems, pain and conflict. In contrast, grace is a
state of mind that acknowledges adversities and transcends them. It is
joked that happiness can be found in a bottle. Alcohol numbs the pain,
which rebounds when the buzz wear off. In contrast, grace clarifies
the cause of the pain, thereby enabling a person to effectively deal
with the source of the pain. Furthermore, grace is lasting and leaves
no hangover or addiction.

Grace is Harmony with the Whole – Grace is the gift of being in
harmony with all that is. Grace is the harmonious connection with the
divine flow of the cosmos. It is when one is in communion with the
creative source of all being. It is joyful immersion in the flow of
the cosmos. This unison with all beings, all things and all events
leads to a deep sense of belonging and connection, which many describe
as divine love. Grace is when you harmonize with the symphony of the

Grace is Impermanent – Grace is a process of awakening, not a fixed
stage of development. The blessings of life are constant, even as our
awareness of them is, of necessity, transient. Humans. like all other
living creatures, must attend to the “10,000 things” that keep them
alive. We must continually eat, breathe, digest, sleep, renew,
exercise, bath, grow, attend to families, friends and cultivate the
resources that make all of these happen. Realizing that the feeling of
grace is impermanent paradoxically allows you to experience more
grace. Although the awareness of grace is impermanent, with practice,
your awareness of grace will increase even as you attend to the
“10,000” things. Eventually, with enough practice, grace will become
the norm rather than the exception.

Grace is Interdependence – A person living in grace depends upon no
one person or thing, nor do they feel independent from all. Instead,
the person living in grace realizes the interdependence of all

Grace From Laughter – “Laughter is carbonated holiness.” ~ Anne
Lamott. One of the quickest paths to grace is laughter. Just as a
smile is a frown, turned upside down, humor quickly reveals a
different perspective.

Grace From Loving – Love the Lord Your God with All your heart, mind,
soul and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.

Grace Is a Sense of Oneness – Grace is the realization that self and
other ultimately arose from the same place and are therefore not
separate, but rather connected as part of the Whole or the One.

Grace Is Paradoxical – To the insane, truth sounds like gibberish. To
those with fractured bones, setting the bones straight feels painful.
To those in darkness, walking into the light is sometimes blinding. To
those living in fear, grace seems like a delusion. Although always
within reach, paradoxically, grace is rarely held for long. By
grasping for grace, you lose it. When you give, you receive. Grace is
awareness of the paradox that only through death is grace possible.

Grace is Patience – It accepts this moment, realizing that it is the
product of billions of years of evolution. “Infinite patience yields
infinite results.” ~ Sky

Grace is Peaceful – Grace is the feeling of utter peace and
tranquility of being fully embraced by the grounding of perfect love.
Grace is when we are at peace with ourselves, our communities and the

Grace is Power – When we align with the powers that create the
universe, we harness these powers by synergizing with them. Grace is
the power you feel when you realize that you are being supported by
something beyond your own individual power.

Grace is the Precious Present – Like a special gift, grace is
gratitude for Here and Now, the precious present.

Grace is Pronoia – Pronoia is the sense that forces in the universe
are conspiring on your behalf. It is the realization that trillions of
cells in your body cooperate to let you dance, allow you to sing, to
give you awareness, to give you the power to fulfill your desires, to
experience joy, to help other people, and to thrive sustainably.

Grace is Quest – Grace is an awakening to truth, not the proclamation
of truth.  It’s knowing that an understanding of Ultimate Reality will
always be out of reach, but searching to understand it anyway. It is
the realization that the story of Creation is not complete, and our
understanding is even less so. It is the realization that since each
person is unique, each person’s understanding will differ.

Grace is Divine Radiance – Like the energy of the universe, grace is
all around us. Sometimes we can see this energy in the form of light.
But like electromagnetic radiation, most of the radiation of grace is
beyond our ability to experience. However, by cultivating awareness,
we may begin to refine our perceptions, so that like finely tuned
“antennas” that receive electromagnetic waves beyond our normal
perception, we may learn to receive the grace radiating all around us.

Grace is Rest – Grace is the feeling of pure relaxation. If in grace,
the person who appears to be working hard is actually experiencing
relaxation and ease.

Grace is Salvation – “Grace assuages the pain of loss and makes the
risk of loss worth taking.” ~ Sky

Grace is Strength – Like a ballerina, a person has grace if she
possesses strength. As a spiritual strength, grace allows a person to
realize their convictions, to do the right thing, even when it is
difficult to do so. As with muscular strength, strength of spirit
comes from practice, stress, good nourishment, and rest. Grace is
cultivated by exercising right actions every day, nourishing your
spirit, and taking breaks from the travails of life.

Grace is Synergy – Synergy is when two or more entities interact in
such a way that that their combined effect is greater than the sum of
their individual effects. So it is with grace. The effect of grace is
such that the power of one acting with grace is much more powerful
than a person acting without grace.

Grace is Thriving – When we are living in grace, we are thriving. All
living things wish to survive and thrive. When you experience grace,
you know you are thriving in harmony with yourself, with others and
with the cosmos.”

Grace is Transcendent – By including and harmonizing opposites, grace
is a transcendent awareness. Grace allows one to realize that without
hate, there is no love, without darkness, there is no light, without
loss there is no gain, without death, there is no life, and without
absence, there is no presence. “Only grace can transcend danger; only
grace can transcend tragedy. Without the possibility of perdition,
grace has no meaning.” ~ Sky.

Grace is Transformative – Grace is the powerful, joyful, and grateful
attitude which transcends by transforming the apparent difficulties of
life into joy. In terms of chemistry, grace is the catalyst and also
the product. Grace is a flame that lights many fires. Grace transforms
adversity into joy. Grace is transformation to greater wisdom,
compassion and joy as a result of communion/connection with the Source
of the Universe.

Grace is Universal – Grace is for all people of all paths. Different
people attain grace in diverse ways. Grace may be attained by
following the essential teachings of of Jesus, Buddha, Moses,
Patanjali, Mohammed, your enlightened and loving grandmother, your
best friend, your pen pal, your hairdresser, your own higher self, and
many others. All people, regardless of religion, history, and ability,
have access to grace.

Grace is Alignment with The Way – (check out The Tao Te Ching
translated by Steven Mitchell.)

Grace is Victory – Grace is like winning the lottery. Both are
fantastic and improbable prizes. Yet with grace, each person has
already won: the only task is to claim the winnings.

Grace is YES! – It is the realization that everything is working for
you, that your body, mind and spirit are all aligned for the single
purpose of bringing more wisdom, love and joy into the world. When you
realize that the entire universe is conspiring on your behalf, you are
experiencing grace. Grace is a sense of grand alignment, when your
inner and outer purposes align to bring more abundance into the world.

Ruminating Heart Throbs From Utter JibesImage may contain: 1 person

Never Never Never Land

Never  Never Never Land   

In land of winken – blinken and nod sailing off in a deep  blue-green boat on beyond the horizon  no one has ever been brought into the world considering being  without  steady  means of caring for one’s family –  of being a single parent – of a child that has been broken down lost abandoned left to her own devices

None have ever started their lives with the sense that their life is fragile without elan or a sense of being both safe – sound for good

None have been brought into the world sanctified –  born in a place that is perpetually a lost stolen frayed  forgotten without means of providing caring loving sensing that this life is sacred

we live on the cutting edge not of progress towards the light but in a filtered dank limited reality that too often always challenging in the deepest sense of despair

what portion of life is meant to be a contumely of innocence where we leave the world without gritting our teeth descending into a perpetual state of misery of constant terror though we were refugees from a conflict that turns to rubble all out lives leaves us scarred bereft  clawing for a breath of fresh air?

we teeter on a brink of a place of deep abandonment trauma that has no refuge in neither sweet night nor by light of dawn  in broken dreams

Our boat tossed on the roiling seas torn ripped chopped off neither from stern without a rudder nor a paddle nor life line buoy or emergency provisions

we live by a code of letting go making do  reminding ourselves over and over that we will get by this day this time this way

undoubtedly you’re unaware that there is a place for the least among us that it is said that we will be first  that we will neither have to fill in sit in line  – nor wait interminably for a place at the table of the last supper

For Better or For Worse

For Better or For Worse

WE’RE Thrown  –  here  –  whatever befalls us  we’re thrown

a whirling dervish   or a lost and solemn life until the last  

we’re thrown in the beginning at our inception throughout our struggles and follies

We Have no more pressing place to go but walk through the dawn of breath 

reach out spring through the open door into the light for good

we have no choice   life is a divine comedy not one that inevitably 

casts a pall over our final breath

we have a responsibility to live our lives with joy  with gifts of love with making other’s lives joyful

always living with your eyes and heart wide open listening to the silence that falls away 

from the beauty and depth of being here

We are thrown yet we have a chance to breath  what lies ahead beyond yonder breach is guiding us always along the way

towards a sanctuary where we reemerge with all eternity all that fills the heavens, the waters , the earth on which the promise of our birth and passing always remain

steadfast formidable this gift finely tuned as the thongs of a lyre that catch our breath 

resolving the question in our heart as to what we were born for in this tumultuous whirlwind of stormy seas and heaving earth amidst the cacophony of shrieking gulls


No Turning Round Only Upside Down

 No Turning Round Only Upside Down 

Wearing a  sheet of Varied colors  like a serape.  over your head  a plastic tarp to  block out the wind

blowing you every which way nowhere top hide until the rising moon leaves 

everyone is fast asleep   in beds far from the stormy shoals of waters rising on the shore hidden in the reeds  making no noise  no sound no groans or moans

staying alert while reasoning that  you depart at first light like a moth that hides from the predators  forgets that we are here wrestling  with somnambulance 

put out by the family as a child  for  whatever reason which  they had

caring for your baby hidden inside you leave a wisp of smoke from every breath alone shuddering in your coveralls. 

there is nowhere for you to come in where you’re welcomed with warm embrace.

One Cries Out For Common Ground For All Humanity
One Cries Out For Common Ground For All Humanity


Housing for all   nothing less than a place of your own

where we live is always a matter of survival  

We have never had a chance throughout our lifespan to have a choice about how to live

and thrive

we have always been relegated to seconds

living from the crumbs accidentally left that dropped to the floor

our main concern is how to stay away from turmoil by anesthetizing our seneses 

keeping out of the way completely  

we wrap ourselves with whatever we can scrounge and consume whatever we can find

to fill out stomachs and forget that gnawing cavity that exists in our hearts

We’re left to develop  a plan when we’re scared by everything that comes and what we imagine is our ends

We’re invisible to most and we have grown accustomed to being afraid of our shadows coming and going  from the outset  until our untimely end no matter what grounds us

Sometimes I just want tpo get lost return to the wilderness of my birth and leave everyone alone

that way there is no exceptional end no one to mourn my loss.

I have been absent for long long times before  being forgotten is a gift 

ever more we’re touched by the darkness we forget 

We’ll never know how we lived 

a glimpse of recalling what we used to do where we came from what we wanted to become

Always grounded whether in the hustling open market or on the apex of jutting peaks

There Is NO Shelter From The Storm

There IS NO Shelter from the Storm

Nowhere safe nowhere here  resting without respite from the pangs of loss of memory or thought that once your faculties were in tact

dreaming keeps rerunning old haunted images of doubt

where we go under this canopy we must remain

there are no further vintage refrains

keep the light shining in the moss that alights the loam on the ground keep tending the embers that glow when stirred in the forest of the night

resolve to remain undisclosed

no choices   every time denied   each time a new attempt to rise

one choice here  one choice there  one choice everywhere  no time to decide

terrified this choice is denied

tundra under my feet  permafrost slipping away releasing harmful gases dissipating in the ether

no time to play

one  choice made another put aside

leaving me speechless   beside a lagoon

laced with toxins that leave my parched throat grasping  prolonged alone

despite your care

wrapped in guilt that I’d made the wrong choice flown away without remorse

evicted hoarded  much less on the ground

simmering vents of despair rising choking off

what else remains of health

fracking near the marrow of my bones

left alone nearby the continental shelf or here beside the road 

shoulders ache

arms cannot feel anything

fingers gnarled

knuckles swollen 


who can hear my relentless claim

denied a clean bed a place to dress a WAY  to a place of rest

One claws and scratches  you see darkly  you flee your solace comes from silence your truth from a canopy covering your escape settling down in the ashes of  lost respite 

who longs for a place how long  wherever you dwell you’re not alone

troubled dreams  what else prevails in this abyss of dread

no choice denied  left alone

he died  

ALL of US died a little each time there was nowhere to hide  no one could be held accountable 

no one dared try

Everyone died

all alone a lighthouse keeps the view

as we are swept out the door 

we leave without a TRACE

No one left to call

none remain inside grounded without

a way a must awake at least last the very last

Hear Me Roar

Hear Me Roar

i wonder what will happen when i die

will you cry  or nonchalantly go about your daily routines

Will you wonder what happened who I was where I’ve been what matters through my eyes

Will you caress me and kiss my skin gently hold me ion you mind’s eye

will you let the time pass without a gesture grimace test

was this worthy of our love or do we detest say thankfully she’s gone

she came as a speck of dust an infant struggling to grasp a ray of sun

will you plant a flower or a tree lay a wreath  write a madrigal

weep inside in the frigid night light a candle remind loved ones that I’m dead

be a mentor to have insight of what its like to be a candle that was snuffed out

hear me now that I am finite living with losses that transform the gifts of life long love passionate kindred spirits that jumped up danced sang gathered strength rose again

with every pause and primed the pump  be still this night be hallowed in this gift that we cannot escape

hear me now for your stinging words your spirit has left me out

never never more quote a slug turns to vapid air leaving alone hoary frost

a gift for good no matter how transforms this universe upside down inside out a parable of a sacrament to life  to life life given taken to the good earth bound

Pulse Pausing Reflecting Be Still

Pulse Pausing Reflecting  Be Still

Are You ever going to stop your vitriolic gesturing

whenever nothing works nothing goes your way

you’re  devastated because you’ve been left out 

you’re feeling sad because none wants to dance 

or be your partner

or stay with you when You’re out of sorts

you lost everything that matters most

your best friend left you cold

you’re afraid you’ll never have someone to love

You’re poor  you’re invested in differences 

whether you make a deal  that will change your life  which naturally 

is unreal

You are addicted to making it out of poverty as fast as you can

Your spirit languishes self-absorbed with doubt insecurity

a listing ship marooned on a sand bar  no place to run to

nowhere to hide

All or nothing  must be tough to live with such a heavy burden

the doors are all closed in your face

you’re suspected for every mistake

no one knows who you are or comes to see you

you are too far removed from Mars

Left to drift like an abandoned ship

Be gone  be done  deserted still afraid no one will know

that is about all you have of a legacy

Floating Freely in Grief

Domestic abuse violent confrontations   coupling  erupting in abuse tough love leaving marks on all who come after   

what can be done to preserve the quality of life for the children?

to live breathe care for all others even when it hurts one is  worn down suffering from trauma

generating defensively defining the genetic transfer of trauma of alarms raised whenever there is a threat

generating violent responses to ordinary problems that rise and fall like a geyser in a volcanic landscape of steaming pools of resignation to the realities that we face

Looking forward we are always  dreaming that there is a place to settle down living with rhythm care holding gently everyone one knows

Floating Freely in Grief  Over Coming Generations of Despair Through Poverty of the Spirit

Taking each day as a revolving account of misery for everyone living under the mantle of crushing defeat

turning to just making it and anesthetizing  every time there is a chance to escape

—  No Turning Round Only Upside Down  –

Swing Low – Swing High — Swing Upside Down –  Longing Verily for a Place to Come Down Rest –  Die – on Earth as in Heaven

We are born into a world of dreams make believe determined to embrace everything possible  

We come with opening wide eyes  mesmerized with the beauty gifts possibilities of creating being learning

We come into the world as beings who are sacred blessed by all that exists both adverse hungry longing bountiful and scarce

We are a sentient seed planted firmly in the midst of heaving breathing fulfilling hope rising inside our spirits lapping every grain of sand tossed upon the shore in the eddies of reach of ravishing beauty for the grace of being born

WE know that we are safe  we feel happy and sad cry and laugh smile at the whirling mobile thrust into our vision tasting yearning to be free

We rise to meet  sun rise to touch the sky rise to grasp the meaning of every nuance of being  here 

If every moment is full we see that this is a moment built upon a moment

 upon a moment upon a moment anon

we understand that we are here from the outset to love to sense the epiphanies that happen at every turn every day we are here

When we are finished we are the sum of all that we perceive that we experience that we have become

where we are is at the start of the journey no matter how we have faltered or succeeded

beyond all expectation we are a finite gift to the universe,  basking in the dawning light of transcendent awakening

On  Mothers  –   daughters  –  grand daughters on and on

Without Strings  (Sin Sogitas amarrados)  Attached

 where do we come from   an umbilical cord that is firmly knotted from placenta to infants from boundless seas unto ends of earth from whence we climbed from the brine onto shores of distant sands forever united across oceans currents lapping waves upon every monument of life

a caravan stretching end to end across streams of asteroids carrying precious cargoes of filaments of genetic strands strewn across a twisted helix of birth rebirth of rising tides settling winds nourishing fecundity of currents a slippery glaze carrying descendants unto utter ends

we’re born here in this spot from mothers who have born the brunt of all existence throughout our brief path along a trail that remarkably has survived

we’re blessed beyond measure that we’ve been carried by these loving arms held close bestowed with limitless finite gifts of momentum revelry in a smiling face embracing coddling consoling us throughout our presence 

We’re a finite gift perceived by every knowing hand that comforts fondles rocks judges not but  provides eternal sustenance. 

We’re sacred a rare gift that is a blessing to all who come and have come before connected from beginning to end through language music sphere as a hand that rocks the cradle that holds her breast that suckles the young fervently guiding us on


From My Father’s Ashes 

 Beloved gentle giant noble beautiful bounty for a son’s fiery countenance born from bound to beholden to forever potent gift of natural beneficence fairness unblemished decent transcendent from practice of kindness servitude patience restraint 

no one ever loved or embraced lapped love upon a son like this wonder of the world being touched by him stripped all pretense concern trappings from doubt that ever more this true crucible of loving arms kisses furtive gestures was the standard born in all relations

when one lay down closed tired eyes clenched a fist rose in dissonance his gentle voice rocked you as in a cradle nudged you to quell the distemper made it possible troubled spirits dissipated from hovering tentacles  receded giving way to dawn

His body depleted by ravages of struggle breathing departed but spirit always remains after most of my life finite sense that this giant still remains seated on my bed stroking my head holding me gently heaving as though to absorb the sting of being my mother’s child  he simply cared for me whatever matter malevolence fury emerged from flaming torches that rose and always rocked me to sleep deep within his breast more mother care giver wonder than all the shades of grey more mellow stirred serene memories deftly comes faintly from his heart

though he left half a life span past his smile his frame hovers over all I have ever  all I know all in heaven beyond head bent by my side my head on his great lap


You asked what I prefer  

I cannot say they are anguishing pulling and pushing sometimes clear other time meant to be read aloud

tormented perverse   pulling and tugging at the seams  

defending epiphanies to make room for more epic assaults

catapulting energies sometimes intertwined with rude awakening bursts of light against dark  a sculpture that reveals itself in the ultimate sweat a shaven mane a furrow carved from glass shattering myths of right wrong in between here now for whatever reason

by chance dreaming by ending a sea of roiling hot tempests threatening to whisk everything carried off for benefit of my knitted brow pursed lip glaring countenance on rocky shores of alabaster

where on hot dunes one terrified hungry lion prowls



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