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Its Alright Now

September 3, 2017

 

Its Alright Now
 
 
“Good to hear that. (I am sick  my brothers and sisters –  cannot breathe despite the 1,000’s of $ spent to eradicate the fluids and lower the heart rate)
many many many many many times I considered all of us and felt heartache worse than the palpitations and pangs  –  more deadly.
 
I speak about and believe in community  I did not want to lose anyone I ever loved.  Yet that is silly.  I moved away and stayed away i turned away turned in lost perspective lost a sense of what matters most   HOME    a home for the heart
Thought I had figured that out a million times at least.
 
Always in all ways took most things people places opportunities  for granted,  Still my aching heart beats on  –  and it will never cease beating out the rhythm of life the syncopating rhythm that permeates every whisper ever poised ever present omniscient
 
You cannot leave no one can we are bound to one another as many have said  “Don’t send to ask for whom the bell tolls – it tolls for thee.”
 
 I couldn’t sleep well last night thoughts of you. Dreams about our life in the past where we were.  (The Way We Were)
 
 My soul aches often with this concept and actuality of getting older by the second.  (from inception  – any moment life can be snatched away)
 
Watching those that we know and love leave again and again.  (that is what it means to be here – knowing we’re next)
Mothers, father’s, brothers and sisters.  (sons – daughters – great grand children  – their children)
 
We are here for as long as it takes and rejoice with each breath. 
 
Live you.”  (love)
 
(Leila is / was born this morning September 3 38 years ago right here)
 
 
missing her  right now aware that i failed  
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